That which was lost

This, my body, is a prison. It’s a beautiful prison but a prison none the less. I’m trapped behind a mask of innocence, a face which speaks of summer days and laughs on a beach.

I used to be, once upon a time I was... but not anymore. There was a time when I had the power, when my will elicited both pleasure and pain... but I have been cursed. I have been cursed to spend eternity in this shell of a mortal. I am powerless. I am fragile. I am youth. Yet I live forever, yet I walk the lonely road of the one who has been cast out of the darkest heaven. My heaven was filled with fire, my heaven was filled with glorious screams of rapture.

The memory makes my heat bleed, my heart which beats so much like a human’s does. My throat hurts, so similar to the throats of humans when their chests are being ripped apart by a thousand shards of frozen tears. We are similar, I and the humans, but I am not one of them... I could never be. I have seen the fear in their eyes when they face that which I once was. I have seen them writher in ecstasy as they submit to that which I once was. I used to be, once upon a time I was... but not anymore and I know it’s my fault.

My existence was governed by a set of rules, a strict hierarchy which was not to be questioned. The temptation was too great. I wanted to be all that I could be. I wanted to touch the stars. I wanted to have it all. It was through my wish to have it all, my need to be all that I could be, that I lost everything. Everything I had ever wanted, everything I had ever known, all was lost to me forever.